I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
