I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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