dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize