mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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