You really coming over, don't trick.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I stole a fireplace last night.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize