:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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