so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
