What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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