It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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