my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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