dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
