dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize