Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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