The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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