he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
