meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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