The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
