So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
