I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
zippers are such a cool invention
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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