Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We left the knife in your bed.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
