So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
