theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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