How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
