Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
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We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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