id be glad to
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
