once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize