i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
