today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You pole danced in your parka.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Randomize
