1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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