I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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