I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
