I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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