Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
