Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i came on her dog
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
