Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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