is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
