I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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