Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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