glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
