i just identified you from a description of your pipe
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
