the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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