I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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