nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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