five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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