I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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