I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
we're so committed to being not committed
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