I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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