Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Sorry about my life...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
