Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
