Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
