If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
