im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
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She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
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I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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