In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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