I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
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