Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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