Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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