yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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