I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
