he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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