It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
she peed on how many people?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
