What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
