Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
