Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
